How to avoid any conflict – one formula

You might face conflict all over, either it be office or home, sibling or spouse. this is normal as different thoughts have different influences. some thing might be right to me but not to someone else. so how do you handle when some one starts complaining about any of your act or thought.

There can be four possibilities and if you can understand these you will win with a win win term.

I am not ok, you are ok:  In this state you feel you did it wrong and the other person is right, if you didnt do something worng then dont come to this state, this will letthe other person take over and it might lead to losses.

I am ok, you are not Ok: In this state you let the other person think that the other person has done something wrong which you didnt like, in this case the other person my get defensive and this can lead to ignite the argument.

I am not OK and you are not OK: this is completely hopeless situation, i am hopeless about my self and believe the other has done something wrong as well. avoid this situation as its a never ending disappointment. 

I am ok, you are ok: this is the best situation where you are self confident but you are not blaming other person as well. this situation can normally lead to solution of the problem earlier where you have no body embarrassed or guilty. try to solve the issue instead of pointing each other’s mistakes

im ok